


you are a memory

by BeesKnees



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Keith is not happy, Shiro (Voltron) Has a Clone, a tiny kid clone, at least pidge has someone to play video games with, big brother lance, but he gets over it, cooking classes with hunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-17 04:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeesKnees/pseuds/BeesKnees
Summary: While looking for Shiro, Matt and the rebels take a boy off a Galra cruiser and bring him to the castle. They don't know if he's dangerous or if he needs to be protected. They do know that he's one of Shiro's clones.





	you are a memory

Pidge wakes to the sound of an alarm blaring. It's the little one -- the one she's set up so that Matt can reach her at any hour. This is the first time that he's used it. Pidge's heart wobbles in her throat as she half falls off the bed in her haste to get to the alarm. 

A coded message from her brother pops up on the screen: _Not in immediate danger. I have a problem. Can you come?_ His coordinates blink below.

_Yes,_ she answers.

_Come alone,_ he responds.

_Sure._

 

She does not come alone. She would do anything to protect her brother and has no intention of losing him after he has been so recently found, but she's also not about to charge into any unknown situation with just herself and her lion. She alerts the castle, and she and Keith take off to Matt's coordinates. 

Pidge could say that finding Matt was an accident after all that time, but that would be a lie. Since the moment her brother disappeared on the fringes of known space, she has fought to find him. It was something that guided her through every step in the Garrison, and it had hummed beneath her skin throughout every Voltron mission. She had devised systems, searched alien technology, and interviewed Galra prisoners. It just so happened that she had been looking for Shiro when she found Matt. 

The news that the pilot of the Black Lion had gone missing had bled through the universe. They had tried to contain it. But Shiro just didn't resurface, and news slowly got out, and then people started trying to help. The Blades who were still hidden tried to search for him inside Galra ships. Then the rebels had picked up the message and started transmitting it on the off chance that Shiro was simply _somewhere else_. And one night while Pidge was just listening to the idle chatter, someone had asked, _Did you say the Black Lion's pilot's name was_ Shiro _?_

And that was how Pidge heard her brother's voice for the first time in over a year. He was alive. He was fighting. He, apparently like everyone else, was looking for Shiro.

Matt has moved around to a couple of planets that are friendly to the rebels. Now that she knows that he's okay, it's hard not to want to be at his side all the time, but Matt had been diligent in his devotion to the rebels. Pidge knows her place is with her lion, and is wary of drawing too much attention to her brother that could put him back into danger. They send encoded messages. They visit when they can. Matt has never signaled her for help before, though, and Pidge isn't sure what she's flying into. She doesn't recognize the planet location either. She expects chaos when she lands. But everything is still -- relatively. This is a planet intended for trade, and so the market is bustling. Keith guides them away with the vain hope they can "hide" the Lions.

They hike down to the heavily populated market. It's always strange to be in crowds like this. Not that Pidge has ever really enjoyed being in crowds -- and she can tell from Keith's tight shoulders that he doesn't either -- but it's an odd reminder that most of the universe is still going on, relatively unchanged. People don't recognize them here, and Pidge and Keith weave through the throngs of people, searching for the address that Matt had provided. It takes them a little while, because neither of them dare to ask for directions. When they find it, Pidge knocks on the door while Keith double checks that they haven't been tracked. The relative ease of all of this is setting him more on edge; he's waiting for the trap that has to inevitably come.

A stranger's face appears at the door. Pidge clutches her bayard beneath her cloak as she steps inside. Almost immediately, Matt pounds down the stairs. It relaxes Pidge incrementally, because at the least, her brother is actually here.

He starts to say her name, but pauses at the sight of Keith.

"You brought Keith?" he asks, concerned.

"Is that a problem?" Keith asks blandly as he shuts the door behind them.

The stranger and Matt share a look, but then Matt shakes his head.

"Come on," Matt says, gesturing them both back up the stairs. Pidge glances over at Keith once her brother's back is turned, trying to decipher why it is that bringing Keith is a problem. She doesn't know what Matt could possibly want to share that wouldn’t be okay to say in front of Keith. Matt’s skittish behavior isn’t helping alleviate her worry.

"We, uh, found something,” Matt halfheartedly explains as they follow him up the stairs.

“Matt,” Pidge says, no longer able to hide how annoyed she is.

“We managed to pull something off a Galra ship,” Matt says, speaking quickly now. “And the Blades figured out what it was, and they thought we should kill it, but I don’t think we should kill it, okay? And I think you guys will agree with me.

It’s amazing how he’s said so many words and yet still managed _not_ to tell them what it is they’ve discovered, Pidge thinks sourly.

“If the Blades think--“ Keith starts to say. Matt swings the door open at the top of the stairs.

“Go ahead and kill him then,” Matt says bluntly to Keith. Pidge doesn’t miss the change in pronouns. She knows that Keith didn’t either. “It” is likely not tech if “it” is a “him.

Keith squares his shoulders and steps ahead of both of them into the room. Pidge follows shortly after.

She isn’t sure what she’s looking for at first. The room is stripped down and Pidge thinks it’s empty at first. Then she makes out a cot pushed into the corner in front of Keith. A child is curled on top of it. He has what looks to be one of Matt’s shirts on and a blanket is pulled over him.

His hair is dark, one hand curled near his face. His breathing is heavy in the relative quiet of the room. But what really catches Pidge’s attention is the bandage spread across his face. Covering the bridge of his nose. Pidge’s throat tightens, and she doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what the right question to ask is.

“What is he?” Keith asks, his voice hardened.

“He’s a clone they made of Shiro,” Matt says quietly. “With a little bit of Galra spliced in. He’s growing faster than a human would ... but we think he’s about five.”

“Why do the Blades want to kill him then?” Keith asks.

"The Blades,” Matt begins, his eyes shooting back toward Pidge as he speaks, “think that the Galra are likely counting on our sentimentality toward kids to get a weapon on board.”

Pidge is horrified that this is the kind of decision they have to make. She looks between Matt and Keith, not sure what she expects Keith to say. She wonders if she’s going to have to pick a side here. She doesn’t know, okay? And that’s a terrible thing for her to realize even in her mind, because she understands the Blades’ point, and she doesn’t think the Galra would hesitate to stoop so low.

But most of her mind is still reeling with the fact that the Galra have been _cloning_ Shiro. Why? Why would they want another one of him? Does that give them any extra indication about where he could be right now, and whether or not he’s still alive?

But she also understands Matt’s point. Because it’s one thing to talk objectively about destroying a weapon. It’s another to talk about killing a kid, whom Shiro is a part of.

Keith isn’t saying anything.

“Keith,” Matt presses, “You know it’s not right to kill a kid just because he’s part Galra.” It’s a dangerous card to play, and Pidge isn’t sure it’s the right one. Keith’s shoulders tighten.

“And you know,” Matt continues. “That Shiro would never consider killing a kid. You know that he wouldn’t consider it for half a second.”

“Shiro isn’t here,” Keith snaps.

The words stir the small figure on the bed. He sits up, sleepily rubbing one eye – although carefully avoiding the bandaged part of his face. His dark hair is a mess. Pidge sees the resemblance more strongly, and it feels like a blow to the stomach. The boy looks between the three of them and draws back a little upon realizing that there are strangers in the room.

Pidge realizes two things in that moment. The first is just how much more painful this has to be for Keith. It hurts her enough, but if she had been looking at mini, Galra-made version of Matt when he had still been missing, she would have lost her mind.

The second is that she doesn’t think they should kill him. And if having too much humanity is what the Galra were banking on, Pidge is okay with that.

“We should take him back to the castle,” Pidge urges Keith. She doesn’t know what he’s thinking right now.

His shoulders slump. “Yeah, okay,” he agrees.

...

Matt and the boy come back with her in the Green Lion, because Keith refuses to let him anywhere near Black.

It’s hard not to be tense on the way back. Keith is silent over the radio. Matt is talking quietly to the kid, who is not talking back, but is holding onto Matt’s hand all the same. Pidge is checking furiously to make sure they haven’t been tracked, and also fretting over what everyone’s reactions are going to be when they arrive back at the castle. Not for the first time, she misses Shiro.

She knows tech. She knows her place in the makeup of the team, and she misses the makeup of the team. Even though Keith is adjusting to his new role, there are just elements of the team that are now missing because they were so evidently _Shiro._

(She thinks Matt is right. She doubts that Shiro would be able to validate killing a child. But she also thinks he would be able to come up with a solution that would keep him safe and appease their concerns.)

As she lands her lion, Pidge feels a little bit more sympathy for Matt. She doesn’t know how the hell to explain this to anyone either. Hunk and Allura are waiting for them, still clad in their pajamas, which likely means that Coran and Lance are asleep.

Keith disembarks just seconds before them, and Pidge hears Allura ask him if everything is all right.

“Matt took a kid off a Galra ship who’s supposed to be a clone of Shiro,” Keith says flatly. “And now he wants us to protect it.”

Well, Pidge thinks. That is one way of breaking the news. Behind her, Matt sighs.

Allura’s expression is a perfectly cultivated mix of horror and surprise. She tries to mask it when Matt comes into her line of sight, still holding the boy’s hand, but she doesn’t entirely manage.

Luckily for all of them, Hunk – bless his heart – kneels down, as if this situation isn’t one of the strangest they’ve been in.

“Hey buddy,” he says. “Are you hungry?”

The boy looks up at Matt, and Matt nods, and then the boy nods as well. Hunk holds out one hand for him to take, and, after a second of hesitation, he does. With a look at all of them, Hunk guides the boy out of the room. Out of earshot.

Pidge is very, very tired.

...

Lance wakes up to a strange situation. As they rotate shifts, Hunk sleepily tells him what’s going on, and that Allura and Coran are down near the pods running some routine security and health checks on their small guest.

At first, to be honest, he thinks that Hunk is fucking with him. Hunk doesn’t pull pranks nearly as often as Keith, but when he does, they’re with an absurd dedication to detail. He knows that if Hunk pulled Pidge and Keith in to help, he’s just dead, okay?

So, he kind of heads down to find Allura and Coran expecting to get a face full of space goo or something like that. Something sticky.

When he walks in, instead, to find the exact scene that Hunk had promised, he’s a bit bowled over. The kid is seated on a table, some wires hooked up to his forehead and arms, and Allura is seemingly monitoring the information while Coran talks to the kid. But that doesn’t change the fact that he is obviously _terrified._

(And those big eyes are Shiro’s, which is perhaps the weirdest part of all of it. Lance can’t really imagine Shiro ever being a kid. He’s just so big and present whenever he’s in a room with them.)

Knowing that while seeing how small this kid is trying to make himself raises Lance’s proverbial defensive hackles. (In his heart of hearts, in the core of himself, Lance is a big brother.)

“Hey,” Lance says with a big smile, crossing the room. He knows that he’s just another stranger right now, but he’s going to try his best to try and fix that. He has no interest in treating this kid like he’s a fixture in the room. Like he’s an object they stole. Like he’s not human.

“I’m Lance,” he says, dropping down to the boy’s eye level. “I bet this all seems really big, doesn’t it? It’s not so bad, though. Can I sit with you and tell you what Allura and Coran are checking for?”

Lance doesn’t think he’s ever seen such an expression of clear surprise on Allura’s face. He knows this isn’t something she thought to explain and it might be possible that she doesn’t _want_ him to do that. But Coran has stepped back with an obvious air of approval, and the boy has nodded, so Lance hops up on the table.

“What are we doing, Allura?” he calls over his shoulder.

She pauses.

“I’m checking to see if the composition and placement of his organs are identical to a human’s,” Allura answers.

“That means she’s checking to see if your heart is where mine is,” Lance says, tapping his chest over where his heart is.

The boy’s eyes follow Lance’s hand with the same intensity he’s seen Shiro review battle plans.

“Your lungs are here,” Lance says moving his hands to his side. “And your stomach is here.” He presses a finger to his belly. “I heard Hunk gave you some food. I bet it was pretty good, wasn’t it?”

For the first time, he gets a shy smile, and Lance thanks a lot of the stars then, because kids are kids, and he’s glad that what he’s doing is actually helping.

“So, all that good food that Hunk gave is in your stomach right now,” Lance says. (God, he wishes that he had paid a little bit more attention in his anatomy classes. But likely showing him exactly where his spleen or kidneys are isn’t going to help matters that much.)

“Your belly’s going to churn that all into energy, and that’s going to be what helps that heart keep going,” Lance continues. The boy hesitantly taps a finger over his own heart, and Lance beams.

“That’s right!” he praises.

“What’s your name?” he asks a minute later, because he realizes that nobody’s told him that part. The boy wrinkles his nose, and then shakes his head.

Oh. That makes sense, even if Lance doesn’t like it. Why would the Galra give a name to anything that’s only a science experiment or a weapon to them? They had stripped Shiro of his name as they tried to grind down his humanity.

“Do you know why that’s _really_ cool?” Lance asks. “You get to pick _your_ own name. That’s so lucky!”

If the boy immediately has any input on that, he doesn’t say. But he seems calmer, so Lance continues chatting. (Who ever said that talking too much isn’t a talent?) Eventually he falls asleep, leaning quietly up against Lance in a way that makes Lance feel as if he can breathe again.

Kids are kids, he figures, no matter where they are in the universe.

Still, he can feel Allura’s gaze boring into his back.

“Don’t get too attached, Lance,” she says softly.

“Allura,” he answers, keeping his tone light. “The day I’m told to hurt a kid who hasn’t shown himself to be anything other than be a kid is the day I leave Voltron.” He means it. He’s not naïve enough to think that what they’ve done hasn’t been without damage or loss. But that’s a different story than a purposeful killing. That’s not what he’s here for. In their quest to defeat the Galra, they need to make sure they’re doing it in a way that’s actually going to allow for a better universe.

Allura doesn’t answer him.

...

She doesn’t find anything questionable in the scans that she performs that night. In the end, her decision is to let the boy stay, but he cannot be left alone in the castle at any point.

He seems to prefer being with Matt, Lance, or Hunk. It’s not uncommon for him to be seen trotting in the halls, clutching Matt’s or Lance’s hand. They’re the only two who seem to know what to do with him and what sort of needs a kid might have.

Lance never thought that he’d be a teenage parent with Matt Holt to a small clone of Takashi Shirogane, but hey, he also drives a giant space robot lion.

They start calling him Taka.

Hunk tries to teach him how to cook at first, but ends up settling for cooking while Taka sits on the counter and watches. Hunk is also no stranger to talking without any real purpose.

Pidge is nervous when she takes on babysitting duties, but she has set up a few things akin to video games that Taka can play while she works. He is heartbreakingly slow at picking up the concept of games.

Coran teaches him whatever the Altean equivalent of board games are, and Taka especially likes playing with the mice when he’s with Coran.

The first night that Taka is with them, he sleeps in Lance’s bed while Lance is on the floor, but he wakes up crying from a nightmare -- one of the first noises that any of them have heard from him. They learn that he doesn’t like sleeping in small rooms with the doors closed. For awhile, they rotate sleeping in the common room with him.

Allura is still skittish around Taka. It’s easy to see the grief on her face when he is near. She is missing Shiro. This tiny embodiment of him makes it more difficult to continue with their work.

Keith, though, avoids Taka at nearly all costs. For his part, Taka doesn’t seem unaware of the disdain and tries to make himself small or scarce when Keith is nearby.

On the rare instances when Keith has to watch Taka, he will sit the boy down on the sidelines and go through round after round with their gladiator bots. If the Galra are using Taka to spy on them, Keith is going to show them that he’s ready for them. He’s going to make them pay.

 

They’re just starting to all get into a routine when the Blades come to collect Taka.

...

Keith wakes up to the sound of alarms.

He’s ready for a fight, but this isn’t the sort of fight he wants. He’s always been able to rely on his body being a weapon, on instincts that tell him when to hit and when to dodge. He’s not used to the diplomacy aspect. Shiro was better at this. And so Keith isn’t exactly sure what he’s going to do when Coran comes to get him to help Allura talk to the Blades.

He is mad at Shiro every time something like this happens. He can’t help it. He knows that it isn’t Shiro’s fault, but he doesn’t want to be in this position. He wants to be the Red Paladin. He wants to be volatile and powerful and reckless. He wants to be able to solve his problems with a grimace and a well-placed punch. Those are not the characteristics of the Black Paladin.

He’s mad at Shiro for leaving again. He’s mad at Shiro for bringing up the possibility of his being a leader in the first place. He’s mad at Black and the team for accepting it.

So, it’s hard to even formulate a plan on what he’s going to say to the Blades, because he’s still not entirely sure that he agrees with what Allura’s doing—

They’re only halfway down the hall when Keith stops.

Black is always something of a shadow in his mind these days. Something is happening in the hangar -- Black is _letting_ someone inside.

Belatedly, Keith becomes aware that it’s _Taka_. That Black is allowing _Taka_ to board by himself.

_Don’t you dare,_ Keith snarls through their mental bond.

Black responds in sentiments rather than words. Keith gets the message all the same. Black has every intention of protecting Taka from the Blades.

Inside the cockpit, Taka huddles down behind the pilot’s chair, and Black exudes a warming message of protection to him that Keith has never felt the likes of before. _And then Black lets him into_ their _mental link._

It’s not like the other pilots, because Taka is not a pilot and does not have the full privileges that come with that status. But Black is clearly recognizing something in Taka that is part Shiro or at the very least how Shiro would feel about Taka, because he’s doing whatever he can to say that he is one of them now.

Keith is caught off guard when Taka’s fear bleeds headily into his own mind. He’s been accustomed to the steadfastly silent boy who is a ghost in the castle. It’s harder to think of him as not human when Keith feels what Taka is feeling. That a great deal of him is, in fact, human.

He is plunged into a memory of fear of Taka’s: being back on the Galra ship he had been taken from. He’s in a cell, shivering, but he’s being held by someone -- _Shiro._

Keith’s heart skips a beat at the realization. At some point, Taka had been with _Shiro._

Without saying anything to Coran, Keith turns on his heel and bolts toward his hangar. Black lights up as he nears, and Keith climbs inside, halting only when he sees Taka cowering on the ground.

“You were with Shiro,” he accuses.

His panic, fear, and anger are bleeding into the mental bond, scaring Taka. Black half snaps at him, but Taka is drawing up his knees all the same, hiding his face behind them. His black hair falls into his face, brushing against the nearly healed cut on his face—

Another memory crests in the new bond: _T_ aka, struggling against the hold of a Galra guard as he is taken away from Shiro. In the cell, Shiro, long-haired and more unkempt than Keith has ever seen him. He snarls as he tries to reach for Taka again, but his Galra arm is hooked into the wall, giving Shiro little room to maneuver.

The Galra takes Taka only to the other side of the cell, pinning him down.

“No,” Shiro growls. “Get away from him!”

The Galra draws his blades.

“No,” Shiro says again, but his tone turns pleading. “Please don’t -- please don’t hurt him. Hurt me instead!”

The Galra laughs.

“That’s the whole point, Champion.”

On the ground, Taka is wide-eyed, but he doesn’t so much as cry out as the Galra draws the tip of his knife harshly across the bridge of Taka’s nose. A mimic of Shiro’s scar. Blood instantly begins to run down his face. The pain flares into Keith, making tears come to his eyes.

He collapses to his knees.

“You were with Shiro,” he says again, his voice breaking.

“I miss him,” Taka whispers. They are the first words Keith has heard him speak.

Keith stares at him, his heart trembling inside of his chest. Because he knows. Because he misses Shiro with every bit of himself, and he aches with it. He feels an answer to that pain in their new mental bond.

Taka watches him, and Keith feels his fear begin to dissipate.

“I was too little,” Taka whispers. “I wasn’t as strong as I was supposed to be. They used me to punish Shiro.”

Of course. Somehow this is all worse than anything they had imagined, but it makes sense, because the Galra always do seem to find some new way to be horrific.

Keith pieces it together from what he knows of Shiro and from what he can feel from Taka: that Taka had been left with Shiro with the expectation that Shiro would either kill him or grow too attached. They hadn’t been able to break Shiro, so they had needed to find a new way. Give him something to care about so that they could try and use it to control him.

Keith stares at the cut on Taka’s nose. The team had wondered why Taka had some cuts and scars the same as Shiro, but not all. Now he knows. Each one is a punishment for Shiro -- information not given, a command disobeyed, mercy shown in the arena, and Taka would be gifted a memory of Shiro’s pain.

Keith feels sick.

“Stay in here, okay?” Keith tells Taka. “Black won’t let anything happen to you.”

Keith goes down and tells the Blades they aren’t allowed to have Taka.

...

Allura really wants to be pissed. Keith can tell. She does not like that Taka was in one of their lions, but it’s a little too late for that, and it’s not like Allura can exactly give Black a talking to about who he chose to protect. So, there are some surly princess glares, but she can’t direct them at anyone.

Especially because two days after that, Pidge and Matt come with up with a plan.

“You tapped into Taka’s memories during the time you were both inside Black, right?” Pidge asks during a team meeting.

“We don’t know if those were real memories or something implanted by the Galra,” Allura interjects.

Keith hesitates. He supposes that could be true. This could be part of the trap. It all comes back to trusting that Black made the right decision in trusting Taka, which is a little uncomfortable given that Black still seems to, on occasion, have some kind of bond with Zarkon. Keith rubs a thumb against his forehead.

“I still think we should look at them further,” Pidge presses. “If Taka shares more of the memories with Keith, Keith can share them with us. We might be able to figure out if they’re real and, if they are, where Shiro is.”

Allura chews her lower lip.

“It sounds dangerous,” she warns.

“What do we do that _isn’t_ dangerous?” Lance throws in.

“It’s the best lead we’ve had in ages,” Hunk adds. “We’re basically just blindly searching right now.”

“Matt and the rebels are going to focus on the ship they took Taka off,” Pidge says. “To see if they can find a trace of Shiro there. And if not they’ll start working backward to see if they can track if Taka was moved around.”

Keith is scared by the flicker of hope in his chest. Hunk is right. This is by far the best lead they’ve had. He wants it to work. Ever since Shiro disappeared again, finding him is the only thing that Keith can think about. He knows he should be focusing more on becoming a good Black Paladin, but he just can’t. Half of his mind is always making up scenarios in the bottom of a Galra war ship, on the ground of some gladiator arena.

But he’s scared because he knows this might not work. He knows this might be a trap for all of them. And part of him doesn’t even care. He wants to try this if there’s even a remote chance it might work. If there’s a thread that might wind its way back to Shiro, Keith will follow it and deal with nearly any consequences.

He’s not sure what he’s most scared of: that he might be damn the whole team, or that Shiro might be on the other end of this thread.

For now, he jumps back into the Black Lion.


End file.
